Jokes to woo!

Hello again. Whilst at work tonight I was thinking about what I could possibly post up here when I get back in (this blog has become my new hobby). I couldn't think of anything funny, witty or a comical anecdote from my evening at work as nothing really happened. So instead of thinking of new material, i'm just going to recycle something I wrote a few years ago.

My twin; Rob, my mate Elliot, Oli and myself started a site a few years ago called BERT. It was basically a site for us to post random crap up and reviews. One of the first things I wrote for it was "Some jokes to woo the ladies". Well, if you missed the jokes the first time round, here they are again.

If you have had any contact with the opposite sex then you will know that they like to laugh. Women like a man who can tell a funny anecdote or a funny "A man walks into a bar" joke. So I have compiled a few great jokes to woo the ladies. I will also include a "WOO FACTOR!". The "WOO FACTOR!" will tell you the amount of wooing you will get from these great jokes! I have used these great woo-tastic jokes myself and recieved a great amount of woman woo attention.

A water joke!

Knock Knock
Who's there? Replies your future lady friend
Water
Water who? Replies the soon to be wooed lady
Water you doing here!? This is my house!

WOO FACTOR! - The WOO FACTOR here is about 7/10


Toast!

What do you put on toast?
I dont know? Butter?
Whatever you like!

WOO FACTOR! - The WOO FACTOR here is about 4/10.
If you want added WOO FACTOR then say this straight after the Water joke and you should recieve a 9/10 woo.

What do you put on toast?
I dont know? Butter?
Water-ver you like!


A packet of crisps!

A man walks into a shop and asks the man behind the counter for some plain flavoured crisps. The man behind the couter replies "Sorry mate. We are all out of plain but we have helicopter flavour"

WOO FACTOR! - The WOO FACTOR here is about 4/10.
For a bonus WOO FACTOR just do the classic drum fill of "Badom bom chiii"


Why did the woman cross the road?

Why did the woman cross the road?
I dont know? Replies your future wife.
I dont know either. But why is she out of the kitchen?

WOO FACTOR! - The WOO FACTOR is a great 10/10


What is the difference?

What is the difference between some cheese and a pineapple?
I dont know.
One is round and spikey and the other is put on crackers!

WOO FACTOR! - The WOO FACTOR is 2/10


The way to get the most WOO out of all of these jokes is to memorize them and say them in a 15 second burst infront of all your soon to be lady friends. I used to not have any lady friends but now i can count them! Also at the end of each joke add the classic drum fill. Your social life will be so filled up you won't believe it. Great!

Now im not saying the jokes are great, but still entertaining :D. I hope you enjoyed them.

Another thing, I have noticed that I have had a few people reading my blog. Don't remain annonymous, drop me a comment and let me know who you are and why you read my blog. Well, that's all from me for today, same time tomorow I guess.